Friday, September 13, 2013

A Manifestation of My Personal Struggles

I know what I'm worth and I know what I deserve. That doesn't mean I make the right decision when it comes to approaching life's  choices. How many of us have chosen the wrong man? Or the wrong job? Maybe the wrong friends? We've all done it. This is how we grow.

So if that man doesn't treat you well enough, if he doesn't give you the love and affection that you know you deserve, don't think that you need to stay with him just because beyond all of his flaws, "he's a really great guy." I've hit that point countless times. Giving the wrong man my affection. Thinking that if I give him enough of me, he'll realize that what he's got is a catch and nothing else can compare. All it really does is make me look so desperate for his attention that I'm willing to do and/or give. This does NOT make you less of a female. It also doesn't make him less of a man. It could just be that your personalities and needs/desires don't work together. All people are different and we all require different levels of affection and attention. Myself, I'm emotional high maintenance. No need to buy me shiny things or take me to expensive restaurants, though I would greatly appreciate it. All I ask is for time and affection. Show me how much you care. Constantly remind me what I mean to you. Don't do it just for me to see and feel either, let the world know how awesome we have it together. Make the world around us jealous of what we have. Make me crazy for you in the sense that not only can I get enough of you, but I'm also sick of you. I want so much of your time that I won't want it at the same time. Remind me that I'm deserving of love. Do that.

If that job doesn't meet your needs, don't think you have to change so quickly. I've been a server for most of my adult life. It has paid off my car and gotten me by with rent and spending money for the last 6 years. Not only do I love the flexibility while I make an attempt at grad school, but it also has taught me patience, restraint, and compassion. I come across some amazing people in my line of work. Not just with guests, but also with coworkers. I have met some truly magnificent souls working in the restaurant industry, and I wouldn't change what I have learned for a minute with a "better" job. I'm a stronger woman for putting up with the hardships of life as a server. I'm convinced everybody should do it for just a little bit at least. It truly humbles you to spend time serving others. Not to mention dealing with their mess. All I'm saying is look at what your job has taught you. Sure, you may need a career change, but would you be the person you are if it wasn't for what you've learned in the field you're currently in? Just think about that and be thankful for what you've had.

Do your friends make you feel like the only one trying? Maybe you think that they don't really care about your friendship, or that maybe they're taking advantage of you. Consider the fact that maybe they're waiting for YOUR phone call. It's possible you spend so much time dwelling on what your friends aren't doing for you, that you are also not doing for your friends what they expect. Or maybe you have that toxic friend that keeps you around because you're so accepting of them and don't ever disagree with them. They make you feel so good just long enough to tear you down and do it all over again. I've had that friend. I found it best to drop that person from my life. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. We are not built to be taken advantage of, whether that be emotionally, monetarily, or otherwise. We are built for kinship, acceptance, and love.

Love.

Don't ever stop loving. No matter where you are in your life, I've found that to continually love yourself, love others, love life and living, is the best way that things will always find a way of turning around. Though it may not be in the way you expect it, life does tend to work itself out.

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